Today, as I tend to when I'm suffering severe PMT, I had a revelation.
I've been lying to myself again - expertly, I might add, but the complexity of a deception does not excuse it.
I have relentlessly been pushing my energy into doomed, and in hindsight drastically unimportant, endeavours such as the pursuit of unsuitable partners whilst frivolously excusing away all the effort that goes in to altering my physicality, fashion, values, manners etc as a means by which to gain their favour as "Worth it for happiness...however fleeting."
Satisfaction has been illusive and to be perfectly honest I'm getting rather sick of being looked down upon, talked down to and generally finding myself treated like an emotional doormat.
When viewed in the cold light of day, not only do the personalities of the men in question actually fall well short of the marvellous, but I've also realised that I have no need to justify myself in terms of having (or for that matter not having) a stable, conventional relationship.
I have always been, and will continue to be, a chaffinch. Anybody who doesn't understand this analogy evidently hasn't seen me drunk.
In tandem with this discovery I have also decided it's about time I started acting my age and, though this will take significantly longer to achieve, looking it.
As such I will be, over the course of the next few weeks, selling off a large amount (if not all) of my clothing - this consists of mainly alternative designers in styles ranging from Cyber to Rockabilly so if anybody wishes to have a link to my eBay account, please don't hesitate to give me a shout.
I am also open to trade for vintage (preferably 1920's style - so raid your [Great]Grandparents wardrobes) including furs.
I shall be wearing a hat for the next three months, potentially six, and conserving money by ceasing to drink it - once I am ready to re-enter polite society I'll let you know.
Meanwhile, expect creativity to boom and ranting (coloured with barely contained violence) to increase exponentially over the course of the next two weeks.
Annie.
<3
I've been lying to myself again - expertly, I might add, but the complexity of a deception does not excuse it.
I have relentlessly been pushing my energy into doomed, and in hindsight drastically unimportant, endeavours such as the pursuit of unsuitable partners whilst frivolously excusing away all the effort that goes in to altering my physicality, fashion, values, manners etc as a means by which to gain their favour as "Worth it for happiness...however fleeting."
Satisfaction has been illusive and to be perfectly honest I'm getting rather sick of being looked down upon, talked down to and generally finding myself treated like an emotional doormat.
When viewed in the cold light of day, not only do the personalities of the men in question actually fall well short of the marvellous, but I've also realised that I have no need to justify myself in terms of having (or for that matter not having) a stable, conventional relationship.
I have always been, and will continue to be, a chaffinch. Anybody who doesn't understand this analogy evidently hasn't seen me drunk.
In tandem with this discovery I have also decided it's about time I started acting my age and, though this will take significantly longer to achieve, looking it.
As such I will be, over the course of the next few weeks, selling off a large amount (if not all) of my clothing - this consists of mainly alternative designers in styles ranging from Cyber to Rockabilly so if anybody wishes to have a link to my eBay account, please don't hesitate to give me a shout.
I am also open to trade for vintage (preferably 1920's style - so raid your [Great]Grandparents wardrobes) including furs.
I shall be wearing a hat for the next three months, potentially six, and conserving money by ceasing to drink it - once I am ready to re-enter polite society I'll let you know.
Meanwhile, expect creativity to boom and ranting (coloured with barely contained violence) to increase exponentially over the course of the next two weeks.
Annie.
<3
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