Genuine conclusions are a rare occurrence - those moments of absolute finality when you can shake hands and walk away, safe in the knowledge you'll never have to talk this person again but secure that there is nothing but the memories respect and friendship to fill the void of physical absence.
I was lucky enough, at 10:30 this morning (massively under slept and more than a little cranky) to experience such an event.
This blog is devoted to Pauline Hogarth, therapist and friend - for saving my life with little more than a smile.
In October of last year, weighing just over 35kg, my family intervened and I was promptly marched to the doctors and subsequently fast-tracked into the care of the specialist eating disorder unit, The Cullen Centre - 1 year, 27kg and a lot of soul-searching later and I have been officially discharged from therapy.
Though I underplay this achievement amongst my friends as simply "Eating a fucking Marsbar and getting over myself", it really has been an long and often arduous journey back from the precipice...one which I never would have completed had it not been for the ceaseless support of my family and friends.
I have genuinely stretched the boundaries of their patience unto breaking point over the past year and a half; when they embraced me, I struck at them with words and weakened fists, when they spoke kindly to me, I refused to listen or allowed my internal voices to drown out theirs.
In my new found state of sanity, I intend to atone for all the hardships they have suffered at my hands.
There are many out there who are never offered help or simply choose not to seek it out, even some that take the tenuous first steps towards recovery are not lucky enough to be given such respectful and delicate care as I received at The Cullen Centre and for that I feel blessed.
The woman who walked out of Morningside today was not the girl who went in so many months ago - in some respects I still can't comprehend how or why I did this to myself but am contented with simply being alive.
There will undoubtedly be hardships in my future and, despite facing down this particular demon I am still running - one day I hope to decipher exactly who I am running to.
Annie
<3
I was lucky enough, at 10:30 this morning (massively under slept and more than a little cranky) to experience such an event.
This blog is devoted to Pauline Hogarth, therapist and friend - for saving my life with little more than a smile.
In October of last year, weighing just over 35kg, my family intervened and I was promptly marched to the doctors and subsequently fast-tracked into the care of the specialist eating disorder unit, The Cullen Centre - 1 year, 27kg and a lot of soul-searching later and I have been officially discharged from therapy.
Though I underplay this achievement amongst my friends as simply "Eating a fucking Marsbar and getting over myself", it really has been an long and often arduous journey back from the precipice...one which I never would have completed had it not been for the ceaseless support of my family and friends.
I have genuinely stretched the boundaries of their patience unto breaking point over the past year and a half; when they embraced me, I struck at them with words and weakened fists, when they spoke kindly to me, I refused to listen or allowed my internal voices to drown out theirs.
In my new found state of sanity, I intend to atone for all the hardships they have suffered at my hands.
There are many out there who are never offered help or simply choose not to seek it out, even some that take the tenuous first steps towards recovery are not lucky enough to be given such respectful and delicate care as I received at The Cullen Centre and for that I feel blessed.
The woman who walked out of Morningside today was not the girl who went in so many months ago - in some respects I still can't comprehend how or why I did this to myself but am contented with simply being alive.
There will undoubtedly be hardships in my future and, despite facing down this particular demon I am still running - one day I hope to decipher exactly who I am running to.
Annie
<3
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